heavy

a common theme in my life is being thrown into things before i believe i'm ready for it. this is partially because i never think i am fully ready for anything (who ever is?).

anyway today i had to conduct my first "spouse interview", meaning i take notes and film the caregiver (usually the spouse) of a dementia patient, and ask about their lives before and after the onset of the illness, mostly in regards to emotion.

today i got a double whammy. a wife and a son. i'm probably not supposed to disclose any personal details and i won't, but it was surreal. it's like something you see on tv, very barbara walters-esque.

"i feel like i've lost my best friend"

usually once they begin they start talking and i just sit back and get wrapped up in their lives. i've been feeling that lately- living other people's lives more than my own. at the same time i feel like i don't really have a life to call my own thus far, only fragments of one, so through others i build another sense of self. i gather perspectives and learn about others' trials and tribulations and somewhere along the way my worldview is enhanced.

anyhow i am entirely glad and privileged to be able to get such intimate glimpses into these people's lives. dementia patients and their families, expectant mothers, recent immigrants, hepatitis b patients...

thanks life, for throwing me and believing i'm ready =)