Let's compare them with friendships, or platonic relationships. Of course they differ in nature; my point is to bring to light the peculiarities of romance between two individuals.
In my high school class I am assigned a seat next to somebody who I've seen around over the years. We've never had much of a chance to hang out, we ran in different social circles, but surprisingly critical me has never had a distaste for this person. So throughout the few weeks that we are glued to our seating arrangement, we make the most of it. We realize that we actually have things in common, and we are able to share laughter, ideas, thoughts. It's surprisingly easy and I think to myself, wow I have actually made a new friend! Friendship is special because each one requires a slow cultivation process. Because of forced organization, we have to interact with each other. Whether or not we choose to turn it into a less-than-professional relationship is up to us. Whether we want to form a friendship is up to natural chemistry and is not entirely effortless. Friendship takes work, and most importantly it takes time. Because I have invested so much time in my friendships, I can be certain of my friends' loyalty, confidence, trust, and love. Perhaps in some way, I did seek out certain people to forge friendships with because I had a particular interest in them. But more often than not, I find the best friendships to be those formed from a combination of shared experiences, time devoted to the relationship, and restrictive circumstances.
Contrast this with relationships. The key is time. It seems as though when two individuals have mutual romantic interest, they clamor to spend much of their time trying to know everything about the other person. First come the basic facts, then come the personal histories and preferences, and eventually their habits and behaviors. I do not want to say that this is unhealthy or wrong, because in most instances, this will be the case. It is unavoidable that we are not introduced to our life-mates at the same young age. Depending on when in our lives we come across someone so exquisite that we need to pursue a more-than-platonic relationship with them, the methods of forming this bond will differ.
It just seems so rash, so hasty, and forced. But who's to say that this is wrong? If we have spent much of our lives exploring human interaction through friendships and familial ties, and are indoctrinated with the notion that "the one" is out there, then isn't it only natural that we will jump at the chance to grab this "one" the second we spot him/her? The longer someone has to wait, the more urgent it becomes to make them a part of our lives, to teach them all about us so that they fit neatly into this life that was already pretty full to begin with. The more times one has had failed romances, the more accustomed one is to this process, to revealing themselves, to diving into relationships in the hope that this one will be different and special.
So even though I started thinking about this topic with a hint of disgust at the way romantic relationships seem to unfold for my age-group, I say to hell with it! Have no shame, have no fear. Hopefully by this point you already have a very secure group of friends, or a handful of individuals that know you and love you for who you are. Hopefully when someone sparks that something inside of you, when you feel a mix of butterflies and nausea at the sight of them, you will jump at the chance to grow obsessed and to want to spend all of your waking hours trying to learn more about this person. Because love for your family is one thing. Love for your friends is another, equally beautiful thing. In short, romantic love is sublime and completely worth the risks involved.
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