here i go

It's surreal to me that October 3 is almost here. October 3, the day that shall set off a series of plane rides, tours, meetings, informational sessions, and medical school interviews. For a long time, I doubted my ability to attain this chance. Since getting this opportunity, I have battled my self-doubt of being able to execute and perform. On the eve of my first journey, I now mentally prepare myself to tackle on this interview that will play a large role in determining the next four years of my life, and subsequently, the rest of my life.

Tonight I reflect upon the things I have done that have led me to this point. I embrace the person that I am and see that there is much room for learning and growth. I have spent the last 4-6 years in preparation for this moment. In fact, everything that I have to present to the Committee has already occurred in my 23 years of life and it is up to me to eloquently and clearly express my self to stand out.

It's hard to not be emotional about this, and it's hard not to be a nervous wreck. I stress about the minute details, such as how I will ask the flight attendants to hang up my suit, and whether I should remove the distracting, decorative strap of my purse, so that I do not need to acknowledge the demon at hand and delve into the black hole of my neurosis.

But I know that when Monday morning rolls around, nothing else will matter. A crease on my suit, a hair frizzing out of place, my aching feet... none of that matters. I will give everything I have prepared, I will speak surely and passionately about my desire to attend medical school and become a physician. I will be genuine and speak from my heart.

I will shine.

Having one chance is a blessing. Having more is a relief. Not making these chances count is failure.