packing

The day is coming! It's been a long time since I've traveled on a one-way ticket. I know it's not going to be nearly as drastic of a change as the scenarios my imagination sometimes conjures, but life will be different indeed. It's about time, though. Staying here will not help my growth and I know I need this change. Today I thought - what if someone asked me whether I am happy with who I have become? I would say yes, but I also know that I can be better. I can be more skilled, more patient, more tolerant...less judgmental, less critical, less indulgent. There is much to amend and there is a lot of room for development. I think being in a foreign place is the best environment to explore oneself and test one's limits. In many ways I will be tested in the weeks, months, and years ahead. I am scared, sure, and I am also excited. I can hardly bear leaving behind the life and people I love so dearly and know so well. However I trust that the bonds that I've formed will remain intact and perhaps even strengthen. If not, perhaps that is the way things are destined to be. Much will be out of my control and I can try my absolute hardest to work at the things I can control.

My hopes are that my homesickness will be minimal and that I will use my loneliness to my advantage. I also hope that this chapter of my life will be an epic one. I want to be able to look back and have few regrets. I want to maximize my opportunities and have as much fun as I can while putting my everything into my studies. I have few expectations and predictions because I know in real life, nothing really goes according to plan. All I have are my hopes, fears, and memories. And that's who we all are, aren't we? I am tempted to say that that is all we are, but I know I am missing key elements so I will refrain for now.