fiction

How do I begin to explain something that I feel is such a big part of me, but is the one thing that has tainted me the most and continues to make its way to the outskirts of my every thought and action? I have already accepted it but can you? I highly doubt anyone would want to - I know for sure I would not. In fact I'd probably sprint in the other direction... but soon we must move on and move forward from what was, yet never really was. In a way I am terrified of moving beyond because I know it all to be so true and pure. And from my vantage point things are no longer pristine. I can see it in my self, the resistance and reluctance to be. I am not immobile, yet disabled enough to betray my soul.