sometimes i avoid declaring my happiness in fear that i am jinxing myself and immediately after i state it, it will disappear. but i really am happy and i want to remember feeling this way so i am going to write it. i'm glad that this semester has started out positively because even though it is bittersweet and every first is a last-first (last first day of school, last bus pass..), i would rather my undergraduate life end this way than with me trudging my way, bitching about how sucky school is. in fact, it is not. i am taking a plant class which i am not too thrilled about, but we are taking so many field trips and that excites me greatly. plus it will be my last class with my roommate after many many years of classes together, so it's nice and necessary. my music class seems promising, i've never taken a music class at cal and this entire class is called beethoven, how cool is that? my professor is charismatic and engaging and i think it seems promising. also meditation CLASS?... i'm already in love!

plus today i went to the calendar store and found two on sale calendars and i couldn't pick between them so i got them both. one is a little prince one to replace my last year's little prince one in my school-room. then... i was rummaging through an unorganized stack and came upon the calendar i wanted LAST year, for this year! i couldn't help myself. it's called happiness by robert doisenau and i am elated that i stumbled across it.

and finally i leave you with something i conjured up in the shower: you are needy but you don't need me. i am needy for you to need me. what a nasty word, need is.